just so you know, i probably miss you, and i for sure want to hang out.
so call me. because we only have a couple weeks left.

things i want to do sometime between now and college:

-- bonfires. tons of them. but actually planning them in advance and not just texting people at like 11:30. that was fun though.
-- movie nights, of course. $5 little caesars. not being able to shut up during them.
-- cottages. up north. sea dooing. cards. pictures. cooking. laying out. blasting the music on the boat. sleeping in tents. playgrounds. s'mores and hot dogs.
-- formal dinner parties again. how much fun was that?!
-- another karaoke party. i just bought another cd. haha.
-- beach volleyball at township.
-- picnics. i miss those.
-- grand haven. spending a weekend. sun. volleyball. cruising the strip, heck yes. and eating at that good mexican restaurant.
-- random kidnapping // stalking. that's always a good time.
-- meijer shopping at 12:30 am.
-- pool parties. it's been so long. we can set up the volleyball net and the basketball hoop. and go buy those 99 cent blow up toys at meijer.
-- find really awesome dorm stuff.
-- road trips. to anywhere. preferably visiting friends. and of course, no road trip would be complete without britney spears, haha.
-- another game night. katie? haha.
-- volunteer somewhere.
-- line dancing. or clubbing. whatever.
-- doing something really "kid-ish". like...fingerpainting. or building a fort, or watching disney movies.
-- dollar store shopping sprees, those were the best.
-- oc parties. it has been way too long, and thoes were awesome. especially when we bust out the dance movies after.
-- speaking of dance moves.... dance party. bren? haha. good times.
-- cedar point. i might even get over my fear of roller coasters.
-- wandering downtown. for sure stopping at four friends. maybe checking out skelletones. hmm.
-- brunch. come on, how many people do that? it would be awesome, we could make a buffet.
-- CHALKING. only if we can buy it at meijer and draw a line back to shaina's.
-- those nights where you have absolutely nothing planned. it's so fun just going wherever, especially when you end up at restaurants that no one has ever heard of, or discover some awesome playground.
-- ice skating. do they do that in the summer?
-- serious ddr action.
-- going to chili's and ordering the $1.99 endless chips and salsa and just chatting the whole night.
-- pedicures, haha.
-- those chairs at urban. and splitting the huge brownie that's so cheap, and the water with the cool ice cubes.
-- midnight bowling.
-- scrapbooking. we should check out pages in time. it's way more fun to do it with other people.
-- another baking party, that was pretty sweet. except i would probably not try the "make your own shapes" again.
-- sitting out at starbucks at night. that makes me happy.
-- library trip. someone has to be a loser and like books like me? haha.
-- concerts. tons of them.
-- sleeping outside. at someone's house, even. let's pitch a tent somewhere.
-- have a random surprise party. even if it's not their birthday.
-- rivertown. riding the carousel, shopping, seeing a movie. it will be fun. maybe meeting boys by old navy again.
-- doing another picture scavenger hunt. seriously.
-- looking through old yearbooks // pictures // videos.
-- skate at modern. someone has to come with me because im not so good yet.

um. so if you want to join me in any of those, seriously, let me know. we can plan it all out. i would be more than willing to.
call me >> 308-5787.

love you.

i'm so ready for this weekend.
tentative plans =
friday // catching up with taters??
chinese buffet. i love almond boneless and fried rice.
prom shopping dates yes, i found a new dress. i'm in love with it.
stopping by jess's
hanging with lin and bri, movies...
sat // shopping with shain.  
fhf spree. heck yes. we were there like 4 times.
visiting fabian
hearing all about desperate housewives haha
oc party with bren and jeff. watching what we missed while playing on the playground at meadowbrook
ridiculous amounts of food. seriously. junior mints, reeses, dessert mints, lime chips? those are weird. suckers. pop. we had it all. :)
slurpee runs with jake and pierson, what cool kids. letting jeff drive
urban mill. honking and making friends.
carnival at celebration. seeing our whole school.
driving around singing and dancing.
going to an old fifties diner and getting dessert (and a baked potato haha, i'm a loser) jukebox joe's.
hanging out with the O4
movie night. old movies from middle school // freshman year?
possible chalking?
township?
having a sweet bonfire. cam and phil tell the BEST stories. "so yea, then he saved the ophans, and, a bag of puppies..." ha.
sun // mother's day.
phantom party. join me. i have to watch it for musical theater anyway. 
mars hill.
seeing my fair lady at circle with my mom!
dinner at chili's with the family.

tell me something exciting. have an amazing day. love you.

so. here we are. i never really expected this to come so fast. i remember sitting in 3rd hour chemistry last year, the minutes seemed to drag by. that entire year did. and now that i think about it, maybe this year didn't "fly by", maybe it just seemed like it because no other year has ever been this important.

i just thought i would take a minute and thank some really cool people that i am so glad have been a part of my life. you have been awesome friends, made me smile when i'm having a bad day, encouraged me, and been there for me no matter what. even if we haven't talked in months. or years. or if we talk everyday. i don't care. i still love you all the same

the O4
[shnut nut] since kindergarten. i can't believe it. we made it through middle school and then got even closer in high school. younglife every monday, retreats...sometimes campaigners. it definitely wouldn't be the same without you. you have always been there for me and i love you for that. your cottage is amazing. taking pictures, the sunsets, carnival, cooking spaghetti, 4th of july. yay i hope you did well on your ap test today. i'm sure you did. looove you.

[kristers] my springhill girl. wow. how many memories have we had there? and how many awesome people have we met? i still think our first tst year will always be the best. it was amazing. and the reunions? so fun. we need to make it over to novi again sometime when our girls are home. and we always have fun no matter what we're doing, movie nights, girls nights, standing on fire places at logans, filming sweet videos for tv broadcasting, meeting at subway before rehearsals. whatever. thanks for everything.

[linny] honestly, the weekend up north i think is probably one of my favorite memories. ever. just sitting out on the water, blasting the music, playing volleyball, bonfires, climbing fences, meeting people. you are always there for me to talk to and you always know what to say. and i hope you get better really really soon because i hate knowing that you're sick. you're always so thoughtful and such a sweetheart. and i don't think anyone will break our 9 hour phone conversation.

[taters] i still don't reeeeally know how we became friends. well i guess it was seeing each other at a random restaurant in florida. and from the first time we hung out-- we could never stop talking, and we always had everything in common. it was amazing. you are an awesome friend, and i'll never forget our talks in celebration parking lot. or our games in creative writing // chem.

[bassy] it's funny how we can both remember our first conversation in 4th grade -- about horses. and how we wrote the exact same thing in each other's year book that one year. small group has been great...and i'm glad that we're doing that accountability // prayer group before school. and dinner at kuipers. oh man. we've had a lot of fun and grown so much closer this year. i love it.

[jess] girl... you are always so friendly, and in a good mood all the time, you make people around you like that, too. i loved the chat we had a twl on the bridge, for what, 3 hours? it's kind of sad that we never have classes together, but i'm glad we still hang out. you are such a sweetheart.

[embo] we have really super cool plans, that fail most of the time. but i guarantee by the end of the year, one of them will work out. they have to. you have the best formal dinner parties. and i enjoyed grease because we were next to each other for everything haha. you're awesome. we need to hang out more.

[kel] hiii dear. i'm so glad that we had the same swirl group, because that's when we really started hanging out a ton. even though you have your playa crew now, pshha. i'm pumped for college, i'll see you all the time. movie nights at your house are always fun, even if they someone develop into really deep, spiritual conversations, hey, that's cool too. love you!

[claud] so many memories soph year, and of course, spanish class. i have always admired you, just because you know who you are and you don't try to be someone you're not. if that makes sense. and you're so creative // sweet at art. it was always fun filling neumie's boards with hearts (yea, i have yet to learn how to draw them correctly)  and ps- how the heck does every single hair color look good on you? i'm incredibly jealous.

[beth] ah what can i say. same as claud's- soph year. so fun. bobby, making our own coldstones, marker fights, relapse. our obsession with boy meets world. it will never get old. and then of course yearbook this year. overall an awesome class // sometimes stressful and drama-filled.

[michelle] you're amazing. i'm glad that we have span // lunch together because i love chatting with you. and i'm glad that we discovered that you're a good "arm offerer" today. i always have fun with you, we need another movie night with a pre-meijer's run to go with it. or maybe just some urban sometime, we always see each other there.

[katherine] darling. i love hanging out with you. i'm glad that your bday party worked out (at least, somewhat haha). and grease was the best, just remember that you don't jump on that song. haha. it's okay, no one noticed. and our coffee dates were quality, even though some people leave their dogs in their cars for hours haha.

[kunk] how fun has this year been? remember the first time we ever hung out... i believe it was starbucks? on a school night at like 10 pm? and then our girls nights were fun. and yb, my favorite. what a man stealer. haaa. your laugh is my favorite.

[tiff] you...crack me up. you're hilarious. and i will never ever forget what we saw in that meijer's parking lot before matt's party. oh. man. you will always be my "party buddy" no matter WHAT. i don't think i've ever seen you without a smile on your face.

[sarah] hellooo. so psych, sometimes i don't understand why people laugh, but whatever. i hope this plan works out. you're a lot of fun to hang out with, we should probably do it a lot more. yeaaa sg, too bad we're not in the same one. and you're the best stage crewer, ever. you are awesome. okay and you want me to write more. so i will. you're really super cute and probably my favorite ever. oooh i know. remember kayleys? when we chatted on the putting green forever? i loved that. new years, what a good time. you take awesome pictures of our shoes together. you're obsessed with starbucks as well and that makes me happy. you know the true meaning of hammerhead. haaa.

[kayley] so about all of those pictures we took at the matt wertz concert? i'm glad we at least had that to entertain us for the 5 hours we waited in line. although i have to admit, i had a blast. you are always so much fun to be around. and you make sweet music videos, haha. i miss morley-- that's all i can say. let's pick someone new to make our friend by the end of the year and see what happens.

[kristin] hey giiirl. you would always have the best get togethers at your house. birthdays. new years. scavenger hunts. good times. i like having lockers by each other because then i actually see you sometimes!

[megan] you make math class bearable, haha. if i had to do it without you, i don't know how that would work out. and hopefully i'll be joining your lunch table more often, it was a good time. ooh, and tell another story. haaa. good thing we "hang out all the time", according to your padres.

[lys] you're so sweet. even if you leave me with you know who after lunch. haha. i'll get over it. i'm glad that we have yl together. you have always been so outgoing and so welcoming. i love it. we have to hang out more. okay good plan.

[freibs] honestly, i don't think i laugh nearly as much with anyone else as i do with you. especially our 7th hour walking around dates. singing moulin rouge and attempted piggy back rides. bugging alex in the office. story times in the corner. meijer trips. i love you girl.

[kt jo] i miss you!!! you rocked at SCing for us. remember our little group frosh/ soph year? and the karaoke, hot tubing, after dances..we had so much fun. i never really see you anymore and it makes me sad!

[robin] don't worry, i've got your back in this whole sa thing. even if it means long chases down corridors. haha. oh and, "the notebook" viewing party was awesome. just so you know, that's my first official movie that i own. haha. we should hang out more.

[ally] it has been awesome getting to know you this year. especially when we try to watch a movie and we end up talking FOREVER. about life. and love. and boys. and how similar we are, and i love it. hockey game regulars. for sure.

[ciose] okay so our "pool party" plan has officially failed, but still, how cute were they? so cute?! i miss looking at them in espanol. remember roberts, when we were freshmen? i was so scared, i'm glad i had you in that class with me!

[laura] movie nights. that's all i have to say. how fun was that? wandering around meijer at 12 something in the morning. breakfast. lots of pictures. rolling ourselves in sleeping bags. good times. aaand best companero ever.

[les] haha, i still look at the pictures from your surprise party. it was so sucessful. and a lot of fun. so is shopping for prom dresses, especially with "the rule" intact, because that gives us some pretty ridiculous dresses.

[traci] one of the original sh chicas. i love how we've kept in touch this long. and definitely still see each other. you are always one to come to for advice, and i know you'll be there to listen if i need you. AND. we rock at making food with huge bubbles. and taking funny pictures. and trying on stuff in garages. do you still have that cowboy hat? haa.

[kristyn] and landscaping crew. i can't believe we built that fence. i love visiting you guys at gvsu, rolling chairs down the hallway, making pizza...haha. and we'll for sure hang out next year. you are such a sweetheart.

[alicia] the only other person that will dance with me at people's houses. haha. like cast party. emma's. you know. you crack me up. and you're an amazing singer // actress and just a sweet girl.

[jen] hockey games. starbucks. good talks. it was a lot of fun. especially our class with lughod, and how we did nothing in that class. i miss it! we'll find another sport to stalk soon, hopefully. if not, we'll do something this summer.

[malburg] you're adorable. i'm glad that we're campaigning together. we're so in. definitely. musical theater is a blast. and so is randomly finding you at urban!!

[cait] ooh. i love our phone convos. haha. and how we both have the same problem. i mean, who wouldn't want to take us? and our rendezvous in the office are awesome, as well. 2nd hour. thanks for everything!

[bren] okay. we will be having many more talks in the future. especially within the next two weeks, we totally need to solve this problem. you have the coolest dance parties, ever. we need to have another one somewhere before we all go off to college. and i love the faces you make on camera haaa.

[i told you i'd do this]

[clay] what a nice kid. i love how you leave everyone comments. it's awesome. and friendly. even if you ignore me at school when i say hi, you know, it's cool.

[alisha] you...are amazing. i don't think i could handle directing broadcast what a ridiculously hard job. plus, thinking of everyone in that class. wow. plus you're so sweet. remember how we met? with erin? and me sitting in your driveway for like 15 minutes? haha. i loved it. and then of course we had the retreat, which was a blast and we'll always have mars.

[alex] ahh you're so cute. i KNOW you love how creepy me and freiburger are. you LOVE it. i think we scare the office ladies. and seriously, we need our coffee date because it's been frickin like 5 months or something and i miss you dearly! 

[danyel] haha i love how we met. talking about xangas. and i told you i would find you and leave you comments. wow that was definitely 6 or 7 months ago. it's awesome how we still keep in touch, too! you're such a sweetheart!

[britt] how much do you miss twl?! because i need to see everyone again. really soon. we can become cappa roadies. or something. let's plan another reunion. and honestly if you need to talk ever, call me up! love you!

[edgard] you are hilarious. especially stealing the candy from shaina's. and that rooster. haha. how cool. i still suck at making crepes, but maybe i can improve that skill sometime. i'm glad that i'm an official "sister" now. we should all do another movie night!

[meltz] you're a funny kid. even with the women jokes...you know...it's alright, i suppose. watching you guys at skelletones is always a good time. and your videos in tv broad = awesome. haha. i like how you have the ability to make anyone laugh...i guess that's kind of rare. don't lose that.

[zlatko] what up thuuug? haha. hilarious. thank you so much for the rose, that was so nice :) psych is always a fun class...right? yea, my favorite. even if you're too cool for yl now...haha. oh well!

[corey] (even though i think that was sarah on your name, i'll write about you anyway) our foot high fives, it has been a while since we've done them. i miss it. haha. and the weird looks in the hallway always brighten my day. and also, you falling asleep on videos for me. wohoo!
 

ps-- i'm not done. leave a comment and remind me to add you when i come back to finish this. well actually, no, if you leave a comment i WILL write about you, whether you want me to or not. don't worry, i haven't forgotten about you.

things on my mind lately:

-- senior assassination. we've got some serious planning to do. alliances? psha.
-- i need a prom dress. oh. and a date now, too. prom altogether is incredibly stressful. i don't know how much more i can handle. ahhh. help.
-- i want my nose pierced.
-- grease. it will be awesome. you better get your tickets.
-- ap tests are approaching... ah. and senora thinks it's cool, the week right after the test, to make us read don quijote. and also take a final exam.
-- how close we are to graduating.
-- number of open houses i'll miss because of training. june 3-12.
-- the headache i've had for the past few days. i think i need glasses.
-- college / summer / last days of high school. those kind of all go together. i don't want to go any further into detail because i'll probably start crying. haha. i'm excited. but .... yea. i'll miss you guys.
-- bring spring break pictures tomorrow for yearbook. okay.
-- springhill. i just found out that friday nights i'll be coming home at 5:30 pm, and i don't have to be back up there until sunday mornings at 11:30 am for worship. so i totally have all saturdays off. i'm pumped.
-- how ridiculously tired i have been lately. and stressed. and so ready for the weekend.
-- hm. i want to go to a whitecaps game. anyone?
-- i love it when you completely blank on how to spell really easy words. "of" ... i mean, come on. it should definitely be "uhv"
-- i need to finish the davinchi code. i never have time.
-- june 26. we're going on another cruise because something didn't work out with the dates of the mexico resort. flying into san juan, puerto rico. and from there to aruba, barbados, st. thomas and a few other islands. woohooo!!!
-- how much i wish things would work out. i need a reason to be completely happy.
-- formal dinner party. movie marathons. chalking. girls nights. all the things that need to happen before we graduate.
let's hang out soon, okay?

sorry this was so random. what's on your mind?

-- and... what really sucks is when you have to smile and pretend to be happy when you're totally falling apart on the inside. i'm tired of pretending that things like this don't bother me... i'm so sick of this.